Souf Efricans

I just got this from Nuriatjie and since I haven't updated in a while, I thought this would be a nice filler. Must say, some of those are a tad exaggerated and unfair, but most are pretty spot on!! Had a giggle at some. For all you Saffers out there!

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

Ø You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer
Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement (lekker lekker tamaties mummy!!! - N)
Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
Ø You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
Ø Hijacking cars is a profession
Ø You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light
Ø The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election
Ø People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing,Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given (have to add one: Goodenough! I once knew a guy called Goodenough!! Poor guy. Talk about being damned with faint praise! - N)
Ø "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
Ø You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it (I know some people who can relate - coughcough CHEVON)
Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes
Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
Ø You paint your car's registration on the roof
Ø You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
Ø You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one
Ø Prisoners go on strike
Ø You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car
Ø You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once
Ø Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high
Ø When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad (aaah the joys of living in a multi-lingual society - N)
Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are
Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished watching
Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather (damn STRAIGHT - N)
Ø You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"
Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any
Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them
Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela
Ø You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously
Ø You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State
Ø You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA