So there I was, reading a newspaper article about some astronomers being “awed” by a “milestone in cosmology”... and it occurred to me; I know NOTHING about Newtonian physics or Quantum physics!! Boy do I feel like an dolt!! The thought of the universe not BEING there before it was there is just too HUGE a concept for my meagre mind to grasp!! If it wasn’t there before it was there, what WAS there?! How could there simply be NOTHING?! Surely nothing had to consist of something? I don’t GET IT!!! It takes me back to the time when, between the ages of 3 and 12, I was often struck by the existential question; “If I wasn’t me, then who would I be?!!” (I was a deep kid... that’s probably why I sucked at netball) I can’t tell you how much that bugged me... because the thought of me being someone else was just BIZARRE... then I got too old to worry about the deeper meaning of life and why I existed as me instead of someone else and started concentrating on more important things like, “how do I get that cute boy down the road to notice me!”
Anyway, I digress as always, back to the subject at hand... the universe and all that! How do we know it wasn’t just always THERE?! When I was about 13 a friend and I were stargazing at a braai (bbq) and she asked me (I was never lucky enough to stargaze with a boy... oh no, not I - if that had been the case the universe would have been the furthest thing from my mind) what I thought was out there, like, beyond the stars!! I gave this question some serious thought (secretly impressed that I was involved in such a weighty discussion with a slightly older, definitely cooler, chick!) before, striving to be casual, I said, “Heaven?” Okay, stupid answer, so much for sophistication! And she went, okay heaven, so what about beyond heaven... uh... I admit I was stumped... I mean how the f*ck did I know, for God’s sake?! I was just 13… I didn’t think about stuff like that when I had stupid pimples sprouting and my hair never did what I wanted it to and my body was all weird... who gave a toss what was out there beyond heaven and that?! I think I must’ve muttered something like “I dunno, more stars and planets and stuff?” But then she said something that had me totally flummoxed and nearly did my head in… She talked about the universe being infinite, stretching on forever and ever (amen!)... “Just imagine that, Tessa!” Aaarghhhhhhhhhh!!
Forever and ever... and ever and ever...
I felt small, insignificant, humbled... like I didn’t feel that way everyday in the hell that was my High School life (no middle school in SA), she had to go and make it worse!!! I still struggle with the concept of infinity… some things are just too enormous for the ordinary human mind to grasp. Okay too enormous for MY ordinary human mind to grasp... I’m sure the rest of you will be thinking “What the HELL is she on about?! Everybody knows that the universe grew to astounding proportions in less than the blink of an eye. In the trillionth of a second after the big bang, the universe expanded from the size of a marble to a volume larger than all of observable space and at the same time, the seeds were planted for the formation of stars, galaxies, planets and every other object in the universe. Stupid COW!” Thanks guys... lord it over me, I’m dumb as a post!!
Okay, I don’t even know what the point of today’s entry is, except that I’m a bit bored right now. No excuse, since I started writing this at about 3 in the morning, when I should’ve been in bed like the rest of the world (well, like everybody except my upstairs neighbour – who has the terrible habit of moving heavy furniture around at about 2 in the morning! Lord knows what he’s doing!!). I couldn’t sleep... but the mere thought of quantum physics, space time continuums (like a LOT of other people my age I first heard that particular phrase in Back to the Future movies! I always felt so cool saying it “space time continuums, space time continuums”, it just ROLLS off the tongue doesn’t it?!) and the like, soon had me snoozing contentedly on m’sofa... so I had to finish this pointless entry this morning, at school! YAY, something to DO!!
Anyway, no need to read this (although if you’ve reached this point, then I’m afraid it’s too late, you’ve read it already!)... It was just the ramblings of an overtired mind.
So... I suppose that in essence it boils down to this; like most people and creatures in this world, the universe was created with a "bang" (why call it a bang, anyway!? Why not an explosion?! Doesn't have the same alliterative appeal, I know... but it would not have spawned as many dirty jokes!) ! Talk about your humble beginnings...
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