The molehill that turned into a mountain!!!

Today I want to tell you a tale of turmoil, strife, personal triumph and the age old clash between good and evil (okay, maybe the last bit was slightly exaggerated). The names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved. Everything else is strictly true. (*pictures posed by re-enactment models).

Our story begins with a young woman named Natalia, who believed that it would be fun to go on a leisurely bike ride with her friends in order to check out the little-explored countryside surrounding their homes. Just recently, Natalia and one of her friends, Rosalie, finally acted on this dream – when for the first time in absolute ages, they both found themselves with a free Sunday. The weather was pretty good and they were both up for it...

*They agreed to meet halfway between Kamo and Sanjo on Route 403 – a plan which was flawlessly executed when they met up almost exactly halfway down the 403. They stopped at conbenie to get some lunch and then headed to Honai Botanical Gardens to have a picnic. The Botanical Garden was Rosalie’s idea (of course), she always seems to know about random plant places in the middle of nowhere and despite the uphill trek to the picnic spot (during which Natalia quite heroically kept the complaints down to a minimum. She really did. Seriously) it was all very pretty. After lunch, Natalia could see the yearning in Rosalie’s eyes to explore the gardens further, but she (Natalia) nipped that right in the bud by reminding Rosalie that they were on a biking trip, not an uphill hike (Natalia isn’t too fond of hiking). So they left and when they got back to their bikes Rosalie (rather snarkily – in this author’s opinion) invited Natalia to lead the way because she seemed to have “firm ideas of how the trip was to go”! Now Natalia had no firm ideas, no map in her mind of how the little excursion was to go, her main aim was to keep the very idea of “hiking” out of Rosalie’s head! In Natalia’s opinion, Rosalie is WAY too keen on stuff like that.

So off they went! It was all quite pretty – they “discovered” previously unknown shrines (well unknown to them), explored the bucolic countryside with smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts (they’re just those kind of girls). They stopped and took pictures of farmers working their fields, graveyards, dilapidated houses – anything that caught their fancy. All in all it was rather pleasant. Good weather and great company. Like the eager Rosalie so memorably commented, “What a lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon!”

After exhausting one side road they tried another and then another, happily chatting and snapping pics at every available opportunity. Every time they came across a fork or junction in the road – whichever one of them happened to be leading at the time would call out “Left or right” to the other and off they would go in the chosen direction. They were rather proud of themselves and all the ground they were covering – until they encountered a farmer they’d seen nearly an hour before – he was on foot! They were both shocked to realize that they hadn’t gone as far as they’d thought! That, or the farmer was some kind of teleporter who could conveniently zip between places at the speed of light. Sheesh…

Natalia – disgruntled by this power-walking farmer – suggested they check out a river that she knew of and Rosalie, ever eager, agreed to that. So they made their leisurely way toward the river. En-route, they discovered another road, one bordered by rice fields and heading toward some trees and they decided to explore it for a little while.

(could somebody please tell us what these gross foamy things are?!)

It was really beautiful, the road was very quiet, they encountered only two cars in the first ten minutes. The rice fields soon fell behind them and they were bordered by only trees. All they could hear were insects droning away in the green leaves and relaxing bird song. They were both eager to see where this road would lead and even when it started gently inclining Natalia (whom you would expect to protest at this point), said nothing about turning back. The two women chatted happily, stopped to take the occasional picture, remarked on how quiet the road was and kept cycling on their merry way. Now this was just one straight road, no turns off it and both ladies were eager to see where it led. Soon the sounds of civilization faded entirely, there were only birds, bugs and the sound of female laughter. They made off-colour jokes about how if they had been in a movie some psycho in a truck would pass them, before circling back to hunt them and torture them in all kinds of imaginative ways.

The incline gradually grew steeper... and Natalia got off her bike and started pushing it... they were both hot and sweaty by this time, but after nearly 40 minutes on this road neither of them were willing to give up on it! So they pushed forward – knowing (because they had encountered a road sign earlier) that this road would lead straight to Kamo – which meant that they were familiar with the destination and really, Kamo isn’t that far from Sanjo at all! After more than an hour, both were grimly determined to see it through! Their “leisurely” Sunday afternoon bike ride had become the UNTHINKABLE – an exercise in endurance and worse (for Natalia at least) an uphill frikken HIKE! Both women were pushing their bikes by this time as the road kept heading up – they still managed to keep their flagging spirits up by valiantly joking that “SURELY the road would decline after the next corner. SURELY”! They couldn’t see further than 100 metres up the road at any given moment because it twisted and turned so much, but one look over the side would show them how high up they were. Still, not one word of surrender... oh no, not these two stubborn women. They would bloody well get to Kamo or die trying! Besides, it wasn’t THAT bad... they could do this! They knew they could!

The road was steep but it was sneaky in that it always FELT manageable! Every time they rounded another corner they would groan inwardly when they realized that it wasn’t heading downhill yet! They hadn’t seen a car in over an hour... the pretty birdsong started to sound mocking, the butterflies seemed to taunt them and the trees loomed ominously above them! Nothing about this was pleasant anymore...FINALLY, after what seemed (and were) hours, they realized that the road ahead of them had started to dip... they were both ecstatic! There was a lookout point at the apex of the road (they were horrified - and feeling more than a little triumphant - when they saw how high up they actually were) and they stopped there to take a few "jumping with joy" pics from the top and to celebrate their “victory”. After congratulating themselves for a while, they jumped on their bikes and eagerly freewheeled down the mountain... it was bliss... the wind felt cool on their overheated, sweaty bodies and they were both laughing and happy to finally be done with this nightmare...


Then... disaster struck... the fucken bastarding RAT of a road (do excuse the profanity) kicked UP again!!! Both women were appalled! Now they were truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. Before they’d always had the option to turn back... but now, after coming down that steep road, they were faced with two unpalatable possibilities – to go back they would have to go uphill – to go forward they would have to go uphill! The terrible thing was not knowing what lie ahead of them! How long would this road keep going on for?! They’d been walking for nearly 2 hours... how much further would they have to walk to get off that damned road?! Going back didn’t seem viable and would make the whole afternoon seem like a waste of time... the only option was to (stubbornly) keep going forward! So once again, their shoulders drooping with exhaustion and resignation, they trudged uphill, pushing their burdensome bikes all the way.
This time there was no laughter, there was no stopping for pictures and gasping at the surrounding beauty... this time there was mostly silence, accompanied by heavy breathing, the occasional groan and rare comment. The birds cackled in glee, the bugs chirruped in laughter and the trees shook with mirth... The whole world seemed out to get them.

This time the uphill journey seemed longer and steeper – they never knew for sure... the sky was clouding over and they prayed that it would not rain! They were both hungry, in need of the bathroom and exhausted! Finally... after forever... their epic journey uphill ended and they were both so relieved they could have wept with joy! Still their odyssey wasn’t over yet... the rest of the way may have been downhill, but they weren’t sure how long it would last, weren’t sure if it would start going uphill again... weren’t sure of anything except that they were very, very tired!

They were challenged one more time when they encountered a fork in the road and an uninformative sign! Their decision this time was based purely on which road looked easier! One headed uphill again and the other downhill! No prizes for guessing which one they chose!

They chose well because the easier road led to Gejo Dam (close to Kamo) – there were a few more twists and turns a few more baby hills and suddenly they were there, at the dam! There were toilets, vending machines and EVERYTHING! It was Paradise, Utopia and Shangri-la all rolled into one! They could have wept with joy. They had been cycling and walking for nearly 4 hours (5 and a half in total if you add the ideal beginning).

They left Gejo dam after resting for a while and headed for the 403 (they were never happier than when they saw the sign leading back to the 403). They were never so happy to see cars, people and smell pollution in their lives before! Life had finally gone back to making sense...

The End