It's rife in our schools... So I've written the following advisory in the interests of Public Health (no applause necessary):
Symptoms include:
diarrhea
vomiting
fever
and an all-round feeling of ickiness!
Preventative Measures
Stay away from students. They're crawling with germs. Avoid them at all costs!!!!!
If you cannot avoid contact with students, be sure to wear a biohazard suit, mask and gloves.
If you have no access to the aforementioned, scrub yourself thoroughly with a bristle brush (the type used to clean floors) and industrial strength soap.
If you find yourself unable to lay your hands on industrial strength soap, use Dove, Lux or whatever just for GOD'S SAKE, be sure it's real soap!!! Those alcohol wipey things don't work!
If you have no way of obtaining soap, you're a dirty bastard and deserve to puke your guts up!
Oh and try not to touch door handles, pens, pencils, desks, chairs, etc etc
If you some reason the preventative measures don't work:
Stay indoors
Lock your doors
Close your curtains and be damned sure you don't give it to the rest of us!
That said: hasn't the weather been fucked up lately?! Dude, the other day I saw a daddy long legs, just yesterday I saw a ladybug and today I notice buds on one of the trees outside of my school! This global warming thing is really taking effect now, huh?!
Cheerio
N
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2 comments:
Great Natasha! Thanks for letting the musical come to your disease infested school. If I am sick at Christmas I am going to blame you for not lending me a bio hazard suit.
Hah... norovirus could be lurking in the hall, bathrooms and coffee mugs at YOUR school too!! You just never know...
:P
N
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