Anway I digress, today I thought I'd share some student writing with you. So some background info: I started a Speech Skills class with my 4th grade chuto kids a couple of months ago (1st grade High school for those who don't teach at chutos. Sixteen year olds for those who don't teach in Japan at all). Basically I suggested that whenever we have a team teaching class scheduled, we forego the textbook and teach the kids public speaking skills instead. Next year they have to do a public presentation after getting back from their homestay in Australia - and I wanted them to be prepared and confident for that. In addition to that, the kids have been asked to start a journal - for lack of a better word(not a diary) - to practice writing as they are required to write their own speeches every week for the speech skills class. Their first assignment was a rather dry self-intro... but I've been pushing for some creative writing assignments and last week the teachers overcame their sceptism and asked the kids to write a fictional story as their second assignment. Here are a few of the offerings I liked (mistakes included):
1
Once upon a time, there is a little girl who was born into a a poor family. She was very happy and the family got along well but she felt sad once every year at Christmas. Of course her family didn't have enough money to buy presents for Christmas. She thought that if they were rich, she could give presents. But she knew that her father and mother worked from morning till night. So she had patience every year. One day when Christmas was drawing near, she wrote a letter to Santa Claus. It said, 'Please give a present to my parents. They are working all day long. I don't have enough money to buy presents for them. SO I want you to give a present.' Santa Claus read the lettter during the night. He thought 'This child loves her parents. I'll give them a nice present.' Next day the little girl woke up and she was surprised. There were a big Christmas tree in the garden. She and her parents were very happy. It was a memorable event for them and they were all living together happily.
2
One day a she-chick went to her friend's home and played until evening. They said goodbye and she returned home. Suddenly it started to rain heavily, but she didn't have an umbrella. She took shelter from the rain under a tree. "I wish it would stop raining." Just then, a hen, her mother, came to her with an umbrella. "Mom! Thank you for coming for me!" Mother said "That's ok. Let's go home, and drink hot milk." (Random, huh? N)
3 (Christmas seems to be a regular theme. I like this one)
Once upon a time, there were a Santa Claus and reindeers, rabbits and monkeys. On the day before Christmas, the Santa had a cold. He said "If I were fine, I could go to the houses to gave presents." The animals were at a loss. The reindeer said, "Let's help him and carry the presents by ourselves." The animals agreed with him. The reindeers carried a sledge with animals and many presents. Monkeys looked at the map and led the reindeers. Rabbits went through the stovepipe and put presents. They completed the task. One Christmas day, there were may happy smiles of children, animals and a Santa Claus. Fin
(Santa's Helpers)4 (From a student who was at this year's summer camp. Joel must have made quite the impression on her. Uhm...)
In the old days, there was a big castle. In it lived a princess. Her name is Natasha. Natasha loved a person, his name is Joel. Joel is a farmer. But Natasha had a fiance, his name was Genius. Genius is a prince. Natasha always thinks, "If Joel were a prince, I would marry him..."
5. This one reads like a HCA fairtytale (cho kawaii)
It was a fine day, there was a lonely little witch. While she was strolling in the forest she got hungry. At that very moment, there was a bakery between the trees. An old man was running the bakery. the little witch wanted to eat a delicious loaf, so she talked to him. "Would you give me a delicious loaf?" The old man replied, "I'm in trouble now. I've used all of my match. If I had match I could bake a delicious loaf for you." The little witch thought and said "I am a great witch! I'll light a fire in your oven." She tried. At first she didn't have confidence. But she finally made it. "Look! I could make it!" She said. "Oh, really. You're a real witch! Thank you very much. I will bake a delicious loaf. Wait a while." He said. They talked until the loaves were baked, about their own life, dream, hobbies a... and more. Without notice they had become friends. They ate delicious loaves together. They were happy.
6. Freddy the Leaf-esque (I thought it was so good that, at first, I wasn't completely convinced it was entirely his)
On a very cold day, there was heavy snow. The next day, there was snow over everything all around. A few children made a snowman. The snowman was bright with a carrot nose, a bucket hat, twig arms and glove hands. Children played with him but after a short time they lost interest in him and he became lonely. When winter was ending, he became to have feelings. He was afraid it was getting hotter day by day and spring was coming. He was afraid of death. He felt it. "I wish I could live one day longer. I want to see everytime of the world. I don't wanna melt" He said. But spring came. There was no snowman where he had stood. There was only a little pool. Though in early summer a flower was buded in that place. It is likely that it will see everything for the snowman. Fin
7. Pretty grim. But one of my faves
Today is Christmas. The town is in a festive mood. The children are romping around too. But only Edward is watching them playing in the street from his room. He murmured "If I had legs, I would play with them..." Beside his bed, there is a sheet of paper in a sock. Even Santa Claus can't grant Edward's wish...
(Poor, lonely Edward)Once upon a time, there were three cats. One day when they were walking in the garden, they found a lot of cream in a large pot. They wanted to eat it, so they tried to lap it but they fell into the pot and into the cream. The littlest cat couldn't swim and began to drown, so the biggest cat let the littlest cat step onto his back and help the littlest cat climb out of the pot. The middle cat tried to creep up the pot but he simply couldn't creep up. So the biggest cat let the medium cat out of the pot in the same way. Then the biggest cat was so tired and he couldn't creep up. He was drowning. "If he hadn't helped us, he would be saved!" the others shouted. They looked for something to do but they could do nothing. They thought he would die. Then they cried hard. The biggest cat was rowing in the cream to try and creep up the pot. Just then the cream became butter and hard. So the biggest cat could step onto the ground from the butter and he was saved.
9.
"Do you want to become a transparent man? If you were a transparent man, you could do anything and everything." A witch said to the man. The man think that it is very good chance and he said "yes". In an instant the man became a transparent man. The next day, the man stole some money and jewels from many people. The man feel satisfaction. But the man suddenly noticed a serious matter. The man said "If I were transparent forever, I can't use some money." The man didn't know how he return to the ordinary man. Nobody knows where he is now. If a witch ask "Do you want to become a transparent man" to you, what will you answer?
10. A bit Narnia-ish
Tom liked reading adventure stories, he wished he were the hero in the books when he read them. One day, he was reading on of them under a big tree, suddenly the book shined and he was dragged into the book. He woke up and looked around. He noticed that he was in the world of the book which he was reading because the scenery around him looked just like what he saw in the book. He was the hero in the world. He had many adventures. For example, fighting the dragon, crossing the ocean, entering the forest, climbing the snow-covered mountain. He made a close friend during the adventures. He had many adventures with the friend, but the friend parted from him. When he left Tom, the friend gave him a beautiful ring. Tom began to wear the ring every day. Many years have passed since then. He became sick. He was beyond help. After several days, he died watched by many friends. "Tom. Tom" he heard a voice calling him. He woke up. He was under a big tree. His mother was looking at him. He was a boy. He noticed that he had a very, very long dream. The he was surprised because the ring his close friend gave was still shining on his finger. Was that the dream or the reality.
My students are great! They put so much effort into excelling at every little assignment no matter how muzukashi or mendoksai they think it is. Of course, these are but a few. A large percentage of them were average - but good. These were just the ones I found entertaining. I enjoyed marking these. I was just about falling asleep marking the self-intros last week. It got so bad my supervisor suggested I listen to music while working, to help me stay awake. Not so this week... I was entertained from beginning to end. Okay... cheers okes!
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